The first year of motherhood


My baby girl turned one this week. This first year has been filled with deep emotions, and it offered me a profound transformation and an intense learning process. It is incredible how many skills our babies learn in the short span of a year. From a small, helpless little baby, completely dependent on her parents for food, shelter and security, our little one has transformed into a little girl that can move, express her wishes, and exercise her willpower. I am filled with awe for how magnificent life truly is! But this year is not just transformative for the baby. It is a game changer for us women as well. Think about it. When you gave birth, you gave birth not just to your baby, you also gave birth to you as a mom! Many of us don’t take time to actually process this fully. Your old self will have to step aside for a while, as you take on this new role as a mom full time. At times it is overwhelming, exhausting, yet ecstatic. At times you will feel that your old self is forever lost. And you might cry. But don’t worry; it will come back eventually. And it will be more complete. You will be different, that’s for sure. Some might like your new self, others might not resonate with it. The funny thing is that you will not care about this any more. I have found that I am much more relaxed as to what people might think of me than I was before. I am much more comfortable with myself, with all my flaws and weaknesses. It is so liberating.

This first year is probably the period where you can experience the deepest spiritual connection with another being. During the first few months, you and your baby are deeply connected. As the baby sees you as part of herself, the lines of your self will be blurred. It might feel scary, and it definitely will feel incredibly emotional. You will have the opportunity to let go of all the emotions you have been holding on to for years. And when you do, you will feel so light and new, because you’ve liberated yourself from old luggage. It is a period where you can start from the beginning, where you can become more conscious of your thoughts, words and actions. You will notice how your baby is watching you, and how she starts imitating everything you do. This might shake you a bit. It might bring to light parts of your character you don’t like. Celebrate this new acknowledgment! For it offers you a chance to change your ways for the better.

This is how our children act as our teachers. They magnify our flaws but also our strengths. If we step away from our ego we will be able to see what we project onto them, and adapt. As they grow they will show us ways to enjoy the little things that we never thought of. They will show us what it means to live in the present moment. To enjoy every moment and savor with awe the wonderful world we live in. Take this opportunity to live in the present. To be together with them! It is the greatest joy on earth!

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