Happy Valentines Day!
Just like me, you are probably already feeling overwhelmed with images of hearts and candies everywhere on Social Media. While I think all this is sweet and cute, it can seem a bit shallow and commercial. If you are fan of the hearts and candies, than indulge in them today! But with this blog post I want to focus on something else, which doesn’t get mentioned as often, and that oftentimes is considered selfish – I want to take a moment to talk about the importance of self love.
Let me tell you a little story about myself. There was a time when I used to get caught up in all the fuss about Valentines Day and think that if I don’t get flowers or chocolate, this means that my partner didn’t really care for me. Thankfully, as I grew older, this way of thinking disappeared. I personally don’t think that flowers or chocolate prove that someone loves you. Getting them does not make you feel loved. If anything it only feeds your ego, which is looking for validation and acceptance. Getting all those objects of affection somehow has become more important, so that we can showcase them to our friends. What are we trying to prove with this? Are we looking for other people to give us credit for being in a loving relationship? Does getting something so commercial on a specific day means we are truly loved? And if we don’t get this attention, will we feel like we’ve been let down?
I think it all comes down to our expectations. We expect our partner to behave a certain way on this day. We expect them to honour us with a gift we think we need in order to feel loved and appreciated. And if they don’t meet our expectations we feel betrayed and let down by them. The problem here though is not with them. It is with us. When we externalise our expectations and rely on someone else to make us feel loved and appreciated, we are destined to feel betrayed. Because it is no one else’s job to make us feel loved and appreciated, but ours! Only once we learn to take care of ourselves, to honour ourselves, will we be able to truly tap into the feeling of being worthy and loved. When we feel complete and at peace with ourselves we will be able to give more love to others. We will know that we do not need any external validation, because all we need is inside of us. And once we are whole in our being and recognise the source of infinite love each one of us has inside of them, we will be able to shower others with unconditional love. And here is when magic happens. As you cultivate love within, you can give more love to others. And as you give love, you will start receiving love back. Love, that does not follow any agenda, does not do things only on a special day, but love that is authentic and genuine.
So lets use this day, on which love is so much into focus, to go within and tap into our heart source. Feel the love within you. Count the things you are grateful for and list the things you love about yourself. And take some time to do something for you! Whether it is getting a massage, practicing yoga, or sipping on your favourite drink in the quiet space of your home, do something for yourself only. And trust me, it is not an act of selfishness. It is an act of self love. Lets take time to contemplate how awesome we are today, shall we?! Let’s honor today and make it about us. Drop the external expectations. The source of love lays within you!
Wishing you a shower of self love today and on all the other days of the year as well!